scrumpbunny

I seez him de Siamese dat. He is doing pooing in de bike store. He piles de poos in a corner.
Mother is unimpressed.
The dat he look at me from the roof. Mother she try and chase he away but he no go. He no scared of nuffin.
I no scared of nuffin. Mother she no let me in de bike store because I am adigging. I no understand.
She no let me dig and now de dat he is pooing? My dig better than de poo no?

Hes de Boris having a strop because I scrumped de tellingbone and gave he it. I gave he it !! Pushed it off de dresser and onto Boris for him to nom and he cross!
I no like Boris he no fun - seriously life he take yes? Who would not want de tellingbone?
I have ruined the bedside lamp and chewed ze huge hole in de carpet on ze landing - see it is Sesal - so what is wrong I ask?
Why everyones no like ?
I wonderful bunny I cutes bunny I tellingbone bunny.

I see no Siamese dat for a bit. But mother she see him, he roams our yard in the night. Mother she say we no can have the dat scarer as Kit Alex he has the good hearing and the scarer he can hear him.
Good I say.
Kit Alex I no like.
He stop me having fun all de time. He block me out of de Bike storer. I no allowed to dig. I bored.

Boris he bad bunny. He making the mess of the kitchen and he smell. Mother say he smell too. Boris I no like.

Mother she picking me up and holding me down upside. I no like. I scrabble and I kick. Why do bunny want be down upside I ask? Bunny got big feet to hop and run , no lie on back like old dog. Mother I no like.

Kit Chris he rude. He call me names and he say I trouble. I no trubble. He I no like....

There is a somebodys in our garden.
Mother says he is a Siamese dat. I no like the dat. He stalk me and try chase me. I very very scared. I run and run and I squeeek. He is very thin and ratty. He climb de wall and get in. Mother she wave arms and shooo him, he climb on de roof and he look at her and no go away. Mother she wont let me play in the garden on my own now. She say he after de mousies in de bike store.

Boris he in trubble. He lean paws on the edge of de litter tray and tip him up. Then he dig him all over the floor. He do this when mother she not here. I think he teach mother the lesson. She think he is the pest.

Kit Chris he want my whiskers to cut off. I no know why - he odd. He say they tickles. I say he should keep the hands to themselves no? He can go cut off Boris' whiskers, he no notice he just sleep.

Mother she do the iron today. I like the iron...it has nice wire and it wave at me across de floor.......

I have been scrumping the banans agen. Kit Chris he say you cannot scrump banans. You can only scrump de apoos. Can too.

Mother tonight she see him.
She go to the gallery and there he lay. On a sheet of paper. Small and hard. She say he is a deathwatch beetle. She say he is early this year. She say she must watch out for his friends as they are coming now.
I no like him. She say he will nom our beams. I am shouted at if I nom dey beams. Why he can  nom and not me?

Kit Chris he calling me names again. he call me gypsy. He say I scrump, he say I cause the trouble. I no cause the trouble. I am good bunny. I no nom de beans early. I nom de beams all de time. Kit Chris he is hard. But mother say he not as hard as de beetle. He is harder.

Kit Alex has just come in cross. Someone he has been sick in his car. He say he have to clean the car. It is the 1 of morning now. Mother no clean de car at 1 in de morning. Praps de beetle he help him no?

I no dig de bike shed. Mother she say Dave will come to pave de bike store. I no like Dave he mean.

I am good I can jump. I have the nanans all de time. Noone can put them high enough. Yesterday I nommed one and threw another down to Boris. He not as clever as me. Yes I get down too.
I now have de staircarpet completely off the treads and have remade the cable to Kit Alex's headphones. Tis better now no? I am digging and digging and digging in the bike store.....I have made huge hole all for me. I like.
Kit Chris comes home tomorrow - he always call me gypsy. He say I am bad bunny. He say I eat the house.
I bet he give me stroke when they not looking.
Boris he is boring. He sleeps and he lops along after mother. He want stroke all de time. He just big lump. He no fun. I find a friend who want to play with me no? I need amusing -  I bored.

The banans have gone now, yes that was me, but the puddle he is mine NO! They say that Iz made puddle by the cage but Iz dont. It is he the Ezi Filla he leaks. He make puddle. He had lime around his spout and mother had to lay him in vinegar to kill it.  It is wrong that they blame me, no? Why always is it me? I am good bunny.
To make it worse, I want that I put 'indignant ' in my mood box but I cant. It dont have indignant. It is computer that cant speak properly not me! I sulk now.

Iz trakes a banan todays. Iz likes. Boris he no likz de banan he no eat. I have him the banan.
Boris he sleepz and he sleepz. He no like do the digging on the stairz carpet, he no like. I likez.  I have lots long stings from ze sides and he better to look at ze carpet now iz remake him no?

Hes rude no ? That Borisbunny. Hes rude and hes black. Iz pretty and hes jelous. I no like him.

They sayz iyz scruffy and they sayz iyz smelly..... then they says iyz got be locked up or iyz stealz things......... it not true ....iyz a good bunny...iz lie.... iyz really good bunny.   Iz only an apply or two,  bit of banan, nuffin really. Iyz not a gyspy...iyz not....twas only a hanbag....